Holy cow. Guys, it’s been awhile. I thought that instead of popping back in with a rando project I’d re-introduce myself (haha) and share what’s been happening around here, sound good?
If you follow along on IG you might have seen that about a month ago the bottom sort of fell out of our family. I’m no stranger to sharing hard stuff, the last thing that I’d ever want you to think is that my life is perfect and easy and struggle-less. We’ve been super open about talking about Court’s addiction and recovery. And while I dont feel ready to share all the details of what is happening, I know that so many of you are praying for us and I wanted to give you an update!
If you missed it, we had some serious divine intervention and 4 weeks ago sent our 16 year old daughter to wilderness therapy. (You can see the post here)
She’s living it up in the wilds of Arizona with Anasazi, brushing her teeth with charcoal from the fire that she had to build with sticks, and learning so much. Being the parent of a teenager is intense. Our cute girl struggles with depression and hit a low low. She is absolutely incredible and is working harder than any of us thought possible.
While she’s working and learning, we’re also on a journey. Sometimes we need a shock to the system to help us focus on what is the most important thing and rework our priorities. It’s been a beautiful and healing process. I didnt realize what a frenzied life I was living. I would wake up in the morning feeling like I was already behind and in chaos. I could never find rest or peace. When life slaps you with a heartbreaking situation that turns your world inside out it’s a good time for a wake up call.
I’ve studied, prayed, fasted, prayed, worshiped, hiked, prayed, and prayed (did I mention prayed?) more in the last month that I ever have and it has brought me so much peace and clarity. As I’ve stepped back and let go of the things and behaviors that I was frantically trying to cling to and manage it’s been very interesting. I’ve learned so much about myself and what is actually important. I feel like the tools that I’ve been given have changed my heart, not just toward Ive, but toward everyone.
It feels like we moved our entire house into the driveway and are slowly sifting through everything to decide what to keep and what’s important enough to clean up and save. It’s so hard but SO GOOD.
As far as living in limbo goes, Ive still has another month on the trail, but we are starting to get into more of a routine here. Its just weird and hard. It feels like my heart is living outside of my body.
I wanted to pass along some of the books that I’ve been reading in hopes that maybe it will help someone!
I’m not going anywhere, and have some really fun projects and tutorials coming this week, I just mostly wanted to say thank you for giving my heart space to process. We truly love you and are grateful for your support in everything that we do! If you’re going through stuff in your life, just know that you are truly not alone and that you are loved and important!!
xo
m
You are a Worrior and Ive is too. Maybe things fall apart so they can fall into place. I’ve prayed a thousand prayers for your family and know the lessons that come from this will be a saving grace to you later in life.
With so much love and peace,
Amanda
I love how transparent you are about the trials that your family faces. You are truly an angel to open up your life to others in hopes to help them- and you DO help! It’s so reassuring to know that others struggle with the same things that you do, and that it’s 100% possible to work through those trials. I love your constant positivity.
Mandi,
Long time follower but hardly ever commenter. Sometimes life is just HARD. I admire so much how open and vulnerable you are, sharing the good and the bad. Your girl is so lucky to have such supportive parents! I am praying for you and cheering you on. I’ve been listening to Heidi Swap’s podcast, Light The Fight. If you haven’t checked that out, I highly recommend it. Awesome res life advice about mental health and raising teenagers. Your projects are my favorite and always blow me away with your creativity and talent. Thanks for sharing so much of yourself – you make the internet s better place!
This comment is perfection. Can I say “ditto” to this?!
Thank you for sharing. I had a really hard time with my own mental health and life problems over the past years, and finally, finally, finally, I’ve been stable for a a few months now and I think I will be for a long time. But it’s been lots of workbooks and therapy books and retraining my brain and taking the right medication. There is hope and happiness ahead, but it takes so much work along the way. You got this.
Thanks for sharing with us so we can continue to cheer you and your family on from afar. Sending love and prayers and praise for the transformation so far!
Hi Mandi,
I’ve followed you for years, don’t think I’ve ever commented. Just want to wish you all the best and thank you for your authenticity.
Love you!
We are in month 3 of our kiddo being in RTC in St. George. It’s soooo hard but felt necessary. I question all the things daily but know that my job is to help my kid navigate the hard. As the daughter of an alcoholic, I knew things weren’t quite right. Big hugs to you as you navigate it all. My motto is one day at a time.
Lots of love to you all. I am very certain your transparency will help many more families going through similar situations. As a mother of a child with mental health issues, it sure isn’t an easy road. Every day presents a new challenge. Thank you again for sharing your journey & I pray your sweet girl is able to return home soon & you will all be well on your way to a future of healing. You are a great mama!
Thank you for these resources. A week ago my husband of 15 years decided that married life is not for him and left his family of five kids and I for the single life. I am left in confusion with very little answers. I will save these resources and start reading. Love to your family. Here is to healing.
Just had the president of Anasazi at our professional development day. Wonderful information from a kind person and fellow member of our church.
Hi Mandy,
Thank you for sharing. I have a teenage boy and once middle school started, he went into a downward spiral. Last year was the worst – hospital visits, big prayer and lots of questions to God on why. I understand what you mean about a shift. I had big plans for my work and well, we decided to slow down. We actually up and moved our family to the beach! He is doing better but still pushing boundaries. Who knew it would be this hard? I am praying for you and your family and again, thank you for sharing because there are many of us out here wondering how to balance our dreams along with family. God bless!
We are all right there with you. Keep doing what you need to do and thanks for sharing the hard and the good. Because there is SO MUCH HARD and SO MUCH GOOD.
I guess I wasn’t too surprised when I felt my tears for a family I only know on paper–I have always admired how you, your family, and your blog are so REAL! I will send healing vibes to your daughter and your family. Stay strong Mandi & Court, and keep on keeping it REAL…
❤️❤️to you and your precious family ❤️❤️
Love your projects, but love your love for your family more! Take care of you and your family first! It will us voyeurs time to do some projects while you take all the time you guys need to heal!!!
Mandi,
I too have been following you for years but never commented. I’ve loved you even before you posted the SWIG cookie recipe but that for sure sealed the deal. I am in awe of your strength. I wish that we would have done the same for my 18yr old and although things have gotten better in some ways, in other ways, I know we’ve lost her forever (the gospel). For different reasons, we did send one of our children to live in Orderville with her grandparents in the eighth grade and it was the best thing for her. I wish I could have had your strength to do Anasazi. I had researched their program several times and now even want to work there. I pray that miss Ive finds her peace. (another book that I have loved going through hardships with kids is the Crucible of Doubt. Much LOVE!
As always, I love your realness so much. Best wishes to your daughter and your family. You can tell her that she has an army of internet readers cheering her on 🙂
Mandi, I admire you and Court so much. Your openness has helped me open up about struggles I’m facing and I’ve been working on being more real and vulnerable with others. I hope you know you make a difference in the lives of your followers in much more than home design.
I wish you would prioritize protecting your daughter’s peace and privacy over your need to share and create content. Her story is not yours to tell. Ego tells us that we own everything and everyone we touch. That your family, children, friends are yours to protect, save, teach. That only you and your intentions know best. Please consider how that may have contributed to her troubles and will not help her in the future.
Internet hugs Mandi 🙂 This too shall pass and thank you as always for the transparency with your readers!
I’ve been following you from the beginning (stenciled orange wall was near the beginning, right?) and love your projects and personality. Thanks for keeping it real. We are right there with you in a tough season of life and working hard to make sure everyone comes through it healthy and whole. Nothing better than seeing God show up time and time again. Much love to you and yours.
Hi sweet friend. My friend Jennifer’s son has also done wilderness therapy. I just wanted to tell you that and that I love you bunches. Our youngest is now a HS senior and raising teenagers is NO JOKE. xoxo
Being vulnerable and sharing real struggles in public is not only brave, but generous. It opens a door for meaningful dialog and also an avenue of support for hopefully you, but others as well. Good luck with your daughter. I hope she can feel all of the light around her and be aware of the enormous impact she has on your entire family, especially her siblings. They NEED her. Meanwhile, there are literally thousands of people in the VR audience who are cheering her on, and you guys too of course.
Thanks for being so real and raw. We all have struggles and when we share them with others, we help them and us. It’s a pretty amazing thing what being vulnerable can do. Thanks for opening your heart. You are doing exactly what you need to do. I loved the analogy of cleaning out the house. We could all use some of that in our lives… We’re all here standing beside you + Ivie + your whole family.
Thank you for sharing. This is what I love about you even more than your incredibly gifted creativity.
Our family is also going through upheaval now, and I also need to do some self work.
Thank you for your honesty and the book recommendations. I will order the one.
Thanks for sharing your personal story. I too dealt with serious depression and cutting with my teenage daughter years ago. After getting her into the right program for her, she learned to use “tools” to help overcome her behavior and thoughts. I am proud to say that she is now a successful psycho therapist helping others. You are a great mom getting her the help she needs. 🙏
Thank you, Mandi for sharing with us. You never know who needs to hear what you are experiencing! Keep up being the best mom you can be.
Continued prayers for Ive, you and your family.
xo
Support for you all and weird stranger *hugs*. Hope you all be blessed with recovery, peace, and bright future.
I know exactly what you are going through as my youngest daughter has struggled with depression that goes into Anxiety (or is it the other way around?) heck, I’m still navigating and it has been a journey that started 5 years ago when she was 14. You and Court already have so many tools for Ive and yourselves as you have been on the addiction and e the recovery journey for so long. Al-anon was a key factor for me to gather the tools and of course therapy…family and individual. Today is a good day…right now is good…praying for good days to turn into good months and then turn into good years. God is with you all and especially Ive. God speed 🙌
Hi Mandi,
I’ve never commented on your blog before, but decided I could when my heart skipped a beat when you mentioned wilderness therapy and then another when you said Anasazi. I worked at Anasazi as a trailwalker about 12 years ago and my life and heart were changed forever. The light in your daughter’s eyes in the photo of her on the trail is very reminiscent of what I was privileged to witness daily when I walked the trail. A heart turning homeward can’t be hidden! I’m sending my heart to the sky for you and your entire family. You couldn’t be in better hands! <3